Listview - Hide different row's button

I have attached a project sample of where I am stuck. I have also attached a screenshot of what I am trying to accomplish.

If you click on the button it will fill the grid with five records. The small numbers group the rows together. There is one row of '1', two rows of '2' and two rows of '3'. If you click on one of the red 'X' buttons on a row with a '2', it will delete both '2' rows. As it stands right now, if you click on one of the '2' rows, it shows the progressbar (but only on one of the '2' rows).

I cannot figure out how to access a button on a different row. How can I hide the 'X' button and show the progressbar on the other '2' row? From inside the Delete sub (in the CustomAdapter) I can access another row's listviewitem, but not another row's button. I can't event figure out how to reference the listview from the Delete sub.

I am up against a deadline, so any help would be greatly appreciated!

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